Roman Rulon Ditto was born Wednesday April 2nd at 10:36pm! Our little boy was anxious to join us, and completely blew me away with surprise with his early arrival! I had always guessed he’d come a little early, but his birth date definitely didn’t start out with me thinking that by the end of the evening we’d have our sweet little brown-haired Rome in our arms!

Tuesday, April 1st

It all starts with Tuesday, also known as April 1st, or April Fool’s Day. I was beyond determined that I wouldn’t let our boy be born on April Fools, so that entire day had one objective: to chill. Quinn and I spent the day doing lowkey activities, playing in just about every corner of our home to pass the time and curb boredom.

The day prior we ran groceries which brought on multiple strong contractions, so April Fool’s Day was a non-negotiable no-stress day. And it worked! Alex and I ended the evening with a good bowl of blue takis, and Wednesday approached!

Wednesday, April 2nd

I dropped off Quinn at my mother-in-law Sara’s house, and I headed to my OBGYN appointment! I was on the fence of if we should do a cervical check; I don’t like how painful they are, and I figured that my body would just run its course with or without me knowing how dilated I was, if at all. But after discussing with my OBGYN about scheduling a needed induction if baby didn’t come before 41 weeks, we determined to do a check.

I was beyond surprised when my doctor exclaimed (also with surprise) that I was hanging out at 4-5cm dilated, 80% effaced, and that baby was extremely low! She and the nurse must’ve placed bets because the nurse confessed she’d lost with her guess of 2cm! “What does that mean!?” was my response, and Dr. Chavez replied that we’d definitely be having a baby before any induction date. “We can set a date, but we’ll absolutely end up cancelling it!” Exciting!!

In complete shock and excitement, I called Alex, texted my mom & Alex’s mom, and spent the entire drive back relishing every contraction. From about 10am-noon I was having mild contractions coming regularly at probably 5 minutes, but they didn’t seem strong enough to warrant going in to the hospital, and I worried that I’d seem trigger happy if I went back to my OBGYN asking to see if I made progress.

I put Quinn down at Sara’s house, ran back home to pack, and during Alex’s lunch break we debated whether or not I should go in. He thought I should, and rightfully pointed out that I was this exact same way with Quinn’s birth (ha!) where I thought I wasn’t having strong enough contractions to warrant going to the hospital (and ended up delivering mere hours later).

Contractions died down after I had finished loading everything into the car, so I ran back to pick up Quinn, and sadly went home to make dinner. The minute I finished dinner, Alex walked through the door from work, and BAM. Contraction, contraction, contraction.

The contractions were strong enough to scare me! Yelling across the house that we needed to go, NOW, we dumped all the food I made into a large container, called Alex’s mom to pick up Quinn, and arranged with our doctor to get checked at her office.

Having progressed to a 5-6cm dilation, we went straight to the hospital!

Arriving at the hospital around 6:10pm, and having the IV in around 7:10pm, I walked around the halls while Alex set up our carseat. I saw Dr Chavez as I was returning to our delivery room, and we made a plan to get the epidural and break my water!

Shoutout to the best OBGYN in the world. I’ve absolutely loved having Dr. Chavez be on my team. I love the calm confidence she brings to situations, the way she can match emotions & energy, and the way she incorporates her trust in God with how she treats her clients. It’s been remarkable to feel so supported this entire pregnancy.

Holding both the hard and the good at once.

I’d spent a lot of the pregnancy nervous about getting my epidural, but still wanted the pain relief it offers. We have multiple family friends who do epidurals at the hospital, but unfortunately none of them were there when we went in. So we were assigned whoever was on call to administer the epidural, and it was a difficult experience that took a lot of processing.

I’ve always heard it said that we all have different birth traumas, and this experience was mine. Unfortunately I felt like the person who administered my epidural undermined my preferences, ignored my communication, and gaslit my experience. The pain of getting the epidural was manageable, it was the person who was not.

From this, I’ve learned that we can hold two experiences at once. I can acknowledge the difficulty of that event, as well as embrace the beauty and wonder of the resulting birth of my baby boy. One doesn’t have to outweigh the other, cancel it out, or negate its validity. They both can simply be.

A beautiful painting by Jenna H Conlin highlights this perfectly. The woman is holding out both hands, symbolic of the ability to hold opposing feelings, both the good and the hard. I think this applies to most things in life. I’ve been able to come to peace that while it wasn’t a perfect medical encounter, I was strengthened through Christ who has helped heal that emotional hurt.

Breaking the Water

The moment Dr. Chavez walked through the door, I felt such peace. I knew I had a team that understood me, supported me, and was just as invested in the birth of my baby as I was. We had a plan, and though nothing goes perfectly smoothly, I was able to overcome the rocky beginning and be strong for my little boy.

With the epidural in and working properly, she broke my water! I laid on my right side with a peanut ball and took a short nap.

Something I loved while waiting for Roman to be born was hearing his little heartbeat on the monitor. I loved knowing that he was doing okay, and having that constant sweet little beating sound in the background.

Showtime!

Around 9:45pm I was starting to feel some pressure in my pelvic area. I wish I had the exact breakdown of times but at some point after then the nurse came back in and checked my dilation, I had stayed at around a 7cm. We switched sides to have me laying on the left with the peanut ball, and within what felt like a short 5-10 minutes I felt a surging urge to push. I woke Alex up and told him that this was it! We called in the nurse, and sure enough I was completely dilated, and baby was coming!!

Acting quickly our nurse went to call Dr. Chavez in and realized she didn’t have her phone! “Hold him in!” and she ran out the door to get Dr. They both came in quickly with the birthing team, set up shop & it began immediately. With me on my left side, Alex held up my foot and I wrapped my arm under my knee, crunched in and pushed!!

It took about 3 contractions for little Rome to arrive! 3 pushes on first contraction, 3 on the next, and 2 on the last and he was out!

In between contraction 2 and 3, I felt a long pause of urges. We waited for the final surge and then it hit like waves as I felt a strong urge to push push push! Dr Chavez was saying “short breath, push, then short breath, push” for those last two pushes. (Instead of doing a long, hard, face-turning-purple push… rather to let him come out in waves.) Alex was cheering me on “Good job!! Good job! Go!” It made me so proud to have his encouragement and hear him cheering and coaching me like a sports coach, ha!

Sometime during the birth I felt this realization hit me that I had to be the one to get him out. It’s always weird in the moment when you realize you have to do the work.

Alex exclaimed “he’s got dark hair!!” And with that I think I replied with a very excited “really?!” That was all the encouragement I needed to finish the job. He came out in a large splash, was wiped clean, and then went straight up to me! My arms were outstretched for him and I felt the biggest grin on my face. It felt so exciting! I remember having that feeling of excitement with me during the entire time. I think it was also a mix of Rome’s emotions. Turning to look at Alex, I could see tears in his eyes, it’s special to go through this with my forever partner.

Alex felt the cord pulse, then cut it, and we both admired how wild the placenta is.

He was here! My sweet little brown-haired Roman boy was here. It felt complete- that little image I had playing over and over in my mind of a little blond boy, and a littler brunet boy. It was surreal.

Healing and Home

Thankfully the birth was very soft on my body. I had no tears, just a small scratch that they called a skid mark, so no stitches were needed. That has been the biggest blessing. It’s allowed me to feel stronger and more capable with movement, however I’ve also struggled to remind myself to rest.

We spent two nights in the hospital, soaking in all the cuddles and snuggles with Rome, and finally got to go home!

Quinn loves Rome. It was the sweetest thing to see Quinn excited to meet his baby brother! We had Rome sleeping in his bassinet in the nursery Quinn helped me set up for him, and we had Quinn go see if Rome was in his bassinet! He was so excited, he wanted to hold him immediately!

A lesson I learned from Bluey

The biggest adjustment I faced those initial first days was how to make sure everyone in my family felt loved. I worried that Quinn would feel forgotten or replaced, or that Rome wouldn’t have as much attention as Quinn did as a newborn, or that Alex would feel over-burdened with being the runner boy for all three of us, and that I wouldn’t heal well or handle the hormonally shifting emotions eloquently.

On that second morning home, as I was cuddling my two boys, a Bluey episode brought on the waterworks. Their family goes on vacation, and Bandit (dad) tells Chili (mom) to go and enjoy alone time relaxing on the beach. Shortly she returns home, disheartened and tells Bandit that she doesn’t know how to relax. Gesturing to their little kiddos, Bingo and Bluey, Bandit replies “just learn from the masters!” Chili learns that kids are the best example of how to enjoy just being. They don’t overthink it, they don’t worry about it, they just are. And in this case, it hit home to me that my little ones are the perfect example of how to love. They don’t overthink it, they just do.

Seeing Quinn be excited to hang out with Roman, and his eagerness to help, reminds me that we’ll all be ok. Yes we’re all going through adjustments, and yes we’ll all be ok.

For now, we’re all home together, and that has grounded me more than ever. I get sunshine on my face as often as I can when the sun peaks out from behind the clouds, I’m journaling as I go through this 4th trimester, and we’re taking it all one day at a time.

I’m in absolute love with this little family of mine.