Rome Wasn’t Built In a Day

Maybe it’s a bad mom move to begin my baby’s life with jokes about his name; and maybe it’s another bad mom move for my two only children (both boys) to share the exact same due date? Or it’s simply a mastermind move!

Either way, Rome definitely wasn’t built in a day! It also wasn’t built in 9 months, but this Rome was!

Roman Rulon Ditto. I think that’s what we want to name him! It seems so surreal that I’m back in this position of writing a pregnancy recap, still a few weeks away from his due date of April 7th, but already looking back on the first two trimesters of pregnancy with this little guy!

The Very Beginning

Beginning with the beginning! We first had big hopes and suspicions that we were pregnant when we were on our June trip to Spain! I was 99% sure of it, and was planning to surprise Alex in the sweetest way somehow during that trip. I packed a pregnancy test and all!

Finding out that we weren’t expecting as my period came around abruptly was heart shattering. I remember those last two days of the trip being especially exhausting. I was emotionally drained, physically tired, but we made the most of it and moved forward.

Around late July, I saw the faintest line ever on those cheap pregnancy sticks. MY HEART STOPPED. It was surreal to see the smallest, faintest line, and to feel so certain that there was something there. I kept saying over and over “It’s there!! It’s so faint but it’s there!” Quinn was with me when I took another pregnancy test a day later, and was in on the secret. I told Alex while we were away on a day trip to a church Temple, and he was elated. Our little family had already started growing.

The First Trimester: Aversions & Favorites!

My symptoms started a little late! I was mentally prepared to feel horrible early on (as was the case with Quinn’s pregnancy), but it just never came. It seemed that the nausea I was feeling was still a 3/10 compared to what I had experienced during the first weeks of Quinn’s pregnancy; but I’m grateful my memories of first trimester nausea left such a scar that this go around was “not all that bad.” Comparatively.

The bulk of my nausea hit while we were away on a 5 day family camping trip! It hit like a truck, but still was hovering around what I was considering a 3/10.

August 25th, 7 weeks 6 days “So far I’ve been taking 1/2 unison at night & 25 mg of Vitamin B6 x2 a day, and I think it’s been helping a ton!! I haven’t been dry heaving or gagging AT ALL this pregnancy, so I’m not sure what’s the deal but I’ll take it! I’m a day away from 8 weeks so I’m feeling way better than I did last pregnancy at this point!”

Unfortunately this only lasted a while. However, I was lucky to only have to endure dry heaving, general nausea, and fatigue, but never throwing up. On one very close call I ran outside to the yard and did everything I could to distract myself from throwing up. Maybe it’s because it was a boy pregnancy? I’ve been very lucky this go around.

Pregnancy aversions:

• Cheerios
• The color orange (discovered this during a trip to Costco)
• Autumn (in general)
• scented soap
• decorating
• McDonald’s nuggs (which was a devastating discovery)
• Alex’s breath (classic)
• Quinn’s breath and general smell (savage)

This hatred for all things Fall lasted pretty much up until Halloween. The smells, (yes, the color orange), the decorations… it was pretty sad.

Pregnancy Favorites!

• cold fresh oranges (for some reason the color didn’t apply here??)
• Grapefruits
• Ramen. With hot broth
• Naps and reading
• Fuzzy socks and all things Christmas
• Cold drinks
• comfy shirts (Alex’s green shirt)
• Taking a whole unisom
• Cheese sticks sometimes
• English muffins always
• I crave sugar all the time
• I want sushi and oysters every day still
• Did I mention CHRISTMAS!!

At this point it was still September and October, and already Christmas had an overwhelming pull on me!

Finding out we were having a boy

For a while I was convinced it was a little girl, but it has always been a sweet little boy that we needed to have next. We did a blood test for genetics, and when the result came in it was late in the evening. Alex (as he always does) convinced me to open the result right then and there together! I initially wanted to wait and open it at the Ditto Gala, but it felt right in the end to open the result with just our little family, no phones for video, no fanfare, just memories.

When I saw “boy” my heart leapt and I said “it’s my little Roman.” Memories and moments flooded back to my mind of times when I’d felt so strongly that we were going to have two little boys in a row. During Quinn’s pregnancy, I was in the third trimester when I wrote this down

“Feb 17, 2023,

Another thought I’ve been having lately has been that our second baby is also a little boy. I don’t know if this will happen but I just feel like the two are little buddies, Quinn, and I think Roman. I feel like I want them close in age, and like a little girl is following, but I don’t know. And it’s just a feeling, but I just keep seeing an image of two little boys play across my mind often. A little blonde and littler brunette. 

I don’t know. We’ll see I guess!”

So many times I’ve felt heart nudges that this baby was going to be a boy, and there it was, proof of it all. We are beyond thrilled.

The end of the first trimester brought with it some hope as I started to notice my symptoms starting later and later in the day, until they only came on at around 5pm at night!

My biggest tips for the first trimester:

• Stay busy – having Quinn to take care of made this phase 1000% better. It was still hard, but I found that each day had tasks & things to do, so it kept me moving & progressing! It also pushed me sometimes to do things even when I wasn’t feeling good.
• Stay supported- lean on family! I had Alex plan meals so that it took out the yucky feeling of thinking about food. I also accepted babysitting help & emotional support from Alex & others.
• Work on positive affirmations that this phase will end & acknowledge the hard parts of it. It’s okay to be in the pits & acknowledge it. But, also remind yourself often that the phase will end, and when it does, things will return to normal. You’re functioning at below-capacity level, so give yourself grace when you struggle & celebrate when you’re pushing through! 
• Nausea help: Alternate foods so that there isn’t a common food you start to associate with sickness!! If you feel like you’re going to throw up, go outside, not to the toilet. Remove all wallflowers, candles, perfume, and scented soap from the house before you get nauseous. Just do it. 
• Make a bucket list & capitalize on moments you’re feeling good! Have an hour you’re not nauseous? Go on a little bike ride! You may not feel good all the time, but *some* times is enough to still build worthwhile memories.
• Follow the crave, to an extent. If you’re feeling a healthy crave for a type of dinner- follow it! Or a snack, follow it! It’s temporary and will even out. However, if the craving is frequently something that isn’t the healthiest, try substitutions! I wanted soda a lot, but was drinking it an uncomfortably frequent amount, so I substituted it with ice water and loved it! I learned I was craving something really cold.

Enters in… the Second Trimester

This trimester was from October to January. My nausea subsided and I felt more like me and enjoyed doing old hobbies! We didn’t tell people publicly that we were pregnant until the Ditto Gala in November, but I enjoyed keeping the secret!

Feeling Him Move

I don’t remember an exact first moment, but on October 17th I journaled thinking that the little nudges and wiggles I’d been feeling were Rome moving! This started an entire month earlier than when I felt Quinn! My placenta isn’t on the exterior of my belly like it was with Quinn, so maybe that coupled with it being my second pregnancy was what helped me feel him sooner.

Second Pregnancy: Have I Celebrated Enough?

It seems that most of my second trimester passed really easily. I did have some anxiety with the changes, and at times I felt pulled between wanting to be present and focused on Quinn, with also feeling like I hadn’t celebrated being pregnant like I did my first time around.

That has been a huge difference. I’ve felt down on myself sometimes for not devouring birth videos, or reading the birth & pregnancy books I used to read, or in general thinking about being pregnant every moment of every day, but I think that’s ok. In fact I’ve concluded that it is. Last pregnancy was a huge shift in identity, and while this little boy will bring a lot of change and good to our family, it’s a unique experience being pregnant for the second time.

I don’t get to take longs naps every day, and I’m not googling what my baby is developing every week, nor am I nervously writing down questions in my phone to ask my OBGYN. My naps happen on lucky days when Quinn’s napping, and every OB appointment basically goes like this:

Dr: How’re you feeling?

Me: Great!

Dr: Any questions?

Me: Nope!

Dr: Perfect, anything I can do for you?

Me: Nope, just chugging along.

*In and out in 5 min.

And that’s okay! I’m not the same Alexa as I was 2 years ago. I’ve learned a little to trust the process, to focus my attention in the place it’s needed most. But, I’ve had to remind myself to celebrate the milestones. To make moments of my life special and important. So we threw some candles on a pancake the day I hit my halfway mark of pregnancy (I made the pancake myself, lit the candle for myself, and blew it out…) all for the sake of remembering that a miracle was happening in my body. That I was a walking miracle! This little one is made in-house… pretty cool.

2nd Trimester Symptoms

Current symptoms here were:

• Heart burn… YUCK!!!!
• Pretty emotional… need I say more
• I feel Roman kicking and moving SO MUCH!!!
• I wake up to pee almost every night now
• I’m no longer taking B6 or Unisom (it’s been a while acutally) and I sleep really great and don’t feel any nausea!
• I’m starting to now feel like my belly is growwwwwwwwwwing! It’s starting to feel so much heavier
• I’m definitely so tired. Most nights I just want to cuddle in and watch a movie, and probably every other day I take a nap.

Current likes:

• I always love breakfast!!!
• Cuddling at night in a heated blanket
• Three huge Costco pillows to sleep with
• Chocolate and yummy foods in general
• Watching Masterchef and getting food ideas

Third Trimester: Growing Pains

Big emotions in this trimester. I’m realizing that my sweet little baby Quinn is soon not going to be the baby of the family. I have a lot of nostalgia as I watch him grow bigger each day, smarter, sillier, more clever, and more independent. When he curls his little hand around my finger as we walk across a parking lot, or when I hold him like a baby and sing him to sleep, I can’t help but wish time could freeze.

Journal Entry from Jan 26th 2025

Just listened to a little video I took today of Quinn singing, I’m really going to miss it being just us two. Like a lot. 

I’m going to miss having only him to snuggle and to sing to and to focus on. But I know that just as incomprehensible as it was last pregnancy to imagine the capacity for me to love anyone as much as I love Alex, I will love Rome just as deeply and unequivocally as I have come to love Quinn. I will have such a deep and abundant space for love for each of my sweet little kids. 

In a way, just as last pregnancy I mourned the loss of it being just us two, I think it’s ok for me to feel feelings of sadness over the change of it no longer being just us three. 

I think it’s ok to not know exactly how it’ll be, to be afraid of my ability to be strong enough for all the changes. I also know it’s ok to be excited and hopeful that it’ll be better than what I’m fearing. And just as there exists this melding of challenging and amazing moments of motherhood: some days with Quinn are absolutely idyllic and make me pause in gratitude for this phase of my life, while others feel all consuming and exhaustive… I’ll be able to hold both sides and experiences one day at a time. 

What holds me together and carries me through my fears are images of the two of them playing together, hearing multiple “mamas” when I wake up in the morning, seeing them set off on missions & be brothers as they age, and ultimately looking at these two sweet and innocent baby boys of mine grow into strong, righteous men. 

I know they won’t be my babies forever. But for now they are. For now I can get all the cuddles, and messy fingers, the “night night” kisses & yes, the tantrums. 

For now, they’re my babies ❤️ I’m allowing that phrase to ground me here and now in the present as a young mama. 

Nesting

I’m currently 38 weeks writing this portion now, and last night I had a lot of contractions as I was falling asleep. I’m curious if this little one will come early! My guess is between April 5-7th. Alex guesses April 7th!

A huge part of nesting this pregnancy has been sewing! Something got into me, and for a solid month I had the baby’s nursery converted into a sewing room and sewed every chance I got. So far I’ve made 7 items! A newborn set for Rome, the dress for my baby brunch, a pair of linen pants for me, and a gingham shirt and short set for me postpartum! I’m currently now working on some elastic shorts for Quinn. It has been exhilarating to spend my free time cranking out sewing projects! It’s a hobby where I enter the flow state, lose track of time, and gain more energy from than it takes.

Rome’s baby corner is all set up now! I’ve got his clothes washed and organized, his diapers in a little caddy, his basinet clean and ready, and art hung! I’ve watched my birth prep videos, started refreshing myself on the Taking Cara Babies Newborn Sleep course, have my freezer packed as much as it can be with meals, and my last work photoshoot is this evening! We’re set to go!

Baby Brunch & Quinn’s Birthday

My favorite parts of this third trimester have been these three things: baby moon, baby brunch, and celebrating Quinn’s birthday!! We planned them one weekend after the other so that we have the final weekends packed with fun as we lead up to the due date!

Alex and I went out of town for 24 hours to Tri-cities to enjoy a day by ourselves on a baby moon! We visited a sewing store, wandered the mall, got yummy boba, and smelled perfume (classic). We went to dinner at Aki Sushi (yes I felt thoroughly judged as I walked in as the only pregnant woman there, and yes I do eat sushi occasionally when I’m pregnant… you can ask me about that another time). Then we zoomed over to our cute Airbnb to enjoy eating an absurd amount of gummies & watch our favorite Masterchef TV show! This was the same Airbnb we stayed at on a little getaway after Quinn was born, so it was really fun being able to visit in a new and exciting stage of life.

Our baby brunch was so sweet. Since the due dates & genders match between Quinn and Rome, we have basically everything we need for this little guy to come! So instead of a shower we did a little baby brunch with some of my favorite women (missing my sisters & mom)! We all made something to share, I was able to decorate our living room/dining area, we listened to a good playlist, ate yummy food, and chatted it up! It was exactly the Spring Equinox baby celebration that my heart needed: unfussy, familial, and welcoming.

Quinn’s birthday!!! How this little one has been with us for 2 years, I don’t know!! We celebrated his birthday a week & a half early in case due dates/hospitals/birth conflict with his true birthday of April 8th. The week leading up to it we read birthday books, and on the day of his birthday we woke him up to streamers! Chloe, his auntie, decorated his favorite stuffed animals with party hats, and the entire day was spent doing things Quinn loves!

Alex and his dad took Quinn on a run to get donuts, then we toured & played at Alex’s dad’s work! Off we went to see Chloe and Izaro run at their track meet, then nap time, and then party time!! Chloe made the most gorgeous cake, chocolate of course! We ate some bbq chicken, cornbread and berries. Opened gifts, and then had cake!

I don’t know if there’s anything better than seeing your kid feel so loved. Quinn knew the day was special, and it melted me! Quinn is sweet, helpful, has the most tender heart and an insatiable desire to play! I love the way he brings adventure to my day, and always reminds me of the most important daily task: to have fun!

3rd Trimester Symptoms

Current symptoms here are:

• Heart burn has been off the walls and I’ve come to hate the nightly taste of Pepcid heartburn medicine
• I can certainly feel the weight, aches & general heaviness of not being able to move as freely
• Body is TIRED
• Appetite has slowed down
• Feeling a little bit of that puffy end-of-pregnancy face feeling
• Extremely introspective which sometimes spirals into overthinking
• Feeling a pesky left side rib pain from baby’s little feet!
• Some contractions!!! Woohoo!!

Grow as we Go

Currently the song “Grow as we Go” by Ben Platt is playing, and it’s making me really feel the feels! There are a lot of changes on the horizon, but we’re just going to grow as we go! Take it one day at a time, and hopefully along the way we learn how to balance everything.

Quinn these past few weeks has begun to sing, and sing a lot! Songs like “You are my Sunshine” and the sweet hallelujahs of “Risen for Me” have been echoed through our home in his sweet little voice. Moments like that blow me away. The fact that we’re not just adding a little baby to our home; beyond being a baby, Roman will be a toddler, a kid, a teen, a young adult, adult, and so on, with an entire earth’s journey ahead of him. The small years are short. We’re in the thick of it, but I’m grateful for that. I’m committing to loving the sticky fingers, the “mama’s” first thing in the morning, the random tantrums, little kisses, and sweet concentrated faces of my kid playing and “having fun!

I’ve decided that I want to approach the birth and newborn phase with curiosity. Instead of comparing everything to Quinn’s birth and my postpartum experience with him, I want to be able to go through this unique experience with a heart that is gentle with myself in however I’m feeling, to approach the birth with intentional presence and the ability to embrace differences.

I will see you on the other side:)